Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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