Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
