she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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