Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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