dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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