just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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