Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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