wrigley field is MILF paradise
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
