Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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