Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
