She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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