im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
