maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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