She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
