Are we in a gay sports bar?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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