ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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