At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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