When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
