We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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