its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You don't make any sense
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