you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
