She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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