Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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