I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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