no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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