No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Even my vagina gasped.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
