I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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