Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
