I want to have your abortion
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
