For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
this hospital has no fireball
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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