I hate your face
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
