Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
