boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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