Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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