It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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