U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Im part way to drunk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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