He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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