Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
