is your mom at the bar?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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