So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
