With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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