just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
