i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
