The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
