New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
