We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
