Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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