Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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