i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
