if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
