Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
